pets

Keeping two blogs is nearly impossible for me, but I still like knowing that I have this space to come to and let it all out. I feel like I am busier than ever and it's starting to get stressful. Important things are getting neglected, like going to church. I feel like something has to give soon or we are all going to spaz out! Josh is loving school. I still feel like the transition to kindergarten is going to be extremely hard. The days he's not at school are the hardest days emotional and behavior wise because he is so tired from school and trying to keep up with his brother.

day ????

It was an emotional day for me, much to my surprise. I took Josh to meet his preschool teacher today. I guess I hadn't prepared myself for this big step in his life. I thought, I've been through this before it should be a breeze. But as we walked into that new classroom and his little hand grabbed mine a little tighter, the tears started to well up in my eyes. He hid himself behind me as the teacher started to say hi and I felt so much for him walking into this unknown world. I'm sure the other parents thought I was a wreck, but I tried to put on a happy face as Josh played and I listened to all the growing up things he will be doing. I know that it will get easier as he gets more familiar with school and he will love it, but this stuff is hard. I'm glad I don't have to go to school anymore.

weekend

Aahh, what a relaxing weekend, filled with nothingness. It was really what I needed to regroup with my peeps, my boys, even the big guy. Saturday morning the boys and I went to a birthday party. Sunday we skipped church and a Nerf gun fight erupted involving all of us (even me). I haven't laughed that hard in awhile. I fixed fried chicken for dinner sunday and the boys ate more chicken than...., well, they ate ALOT. Maybe I should fix fried chicken more often. Even though the heat is stifling, the boys spent lots of time outside on Sunday (with numerous water breaks), by bedtime they were so sweaty and stinky and dirty, I made them stay in the bath tub for awhile just to soak all the stink off. Boys. Refreshed and renewed for a new week, but I wish the weekend didn't have to end.

day 3, friday--It seems that b-ball camp is not so easy, Josh cried again today, another kid hit him in the face with a basketball. Another ice pack and a few minutes beside grandma and he was ready to go back. i'm so glad it's friday. i worked some today, but also got to do some shopping all by myself while the boys were at basketball camp, what a relaxing time! Weekend is wide open, birthday party on Saturday morning and that's it. I've got to get organized soon, before school starts, I can't go another school year barely getting my kids through. I don't know why I struggle so much with keeping things orderly. I wish there were an easy solution. I was recognized by a girl at a store today as "michael millers mom", funny.

Day 2, thursday--Basketball camp today for Josh, he was very excited and ready to go. He acts a lot like me in new social situations, very nervous, not sure what to do. He was being lifted up by one of the student coaches and he hit his lip on the rim of the goal even before they started camp. Not a good way to start the day, they carried him off crying to get an ice pack. He came back ready to play but cried a couple more times before the two hours were up. Then if camp wasn't enough unwanted social situmlation, I had to take him to tour his new preschool, the tears almost came again, but he held them back as he clutched my leg. Thing he liked most about preschool, the sandbox outside. As soon as we got home, Josh begged to call daddy and tell him about camp, "i got baskets, and i got injury's" is what I hear him say. At least he takes his injurys with pride.

Day 1--Ordinary day, worked at Big K, took the boys to church, Josh informed us as we walked back to the car that he now had 3 girlfriends. I asked what their names were and he replied "I dunno". Four year old love, so simple and easy, i wish it were so easy. We ate okra and cucumbers fresh from papa's garden for dinner. Enjoyable, but ordinary day.

(blowing the dust off)

Okay, I'm back trying again to find the simple treasure and joy in the everyday life. It's hard. It's hard to find the simple pleasure in life when I feel like most of the time I'm just riding on the train, half asleep, waiting to get to my destination. I read so many inspiring blogs and long for my life to be like theirs. So here I am. My simple joy this morning, the stillness and quiet of my house before everyone is awake. Most mornings I get up, pour my glass of Diet Pepsi and turn the tv on, not today. I sat in the light of daybreak, taking in the silence and being still. It's not much, I know, and it was so easy to do, but it was truly a pleasure. Now the lights are on, the boys are stirring, and there's much work to be done.

Rough Week

It's been an emotionally rough week for me. There were two deaths of people who very close to my family members. One, an elderly lady, who was very close to my mom. Her death was expected. The other, a very sweet young woman, I never met but heard so much about her and saw photos, that I felt like I knew her just the same. Her family is very close to my sister. Her family experienced a house fire and she never made it out. As a mother, I can't even imagine the grief a mother and father would feel losing a child in such a tragic way. My heart pours out for her family and I pray that God will comfort them in some way.

work

I am struggling with my job right now. I'm feeling a strong urge to quit. I don't know if this is coming from the tension with my boss. I really feel like she doesn't like me. There's a lack of communication on her part with me. I've always fit into most jobs well and got along with everyone, but this is different and it's been that way from the begining. Now she is taking stores away from me without even talking to me. I don't want to quit just because of the stress. I'm also feeling a strong desire just to be at home and free from the schedule of job. I feel like I need to be home with my boys. I'm giving it over to the Lord and praying that He will open the path that I should follow.

I Resolve.....

...to cut back on unnecessary spending (so proud of myself, I've only bought one 75% off Christmas ornament) I'm trying really hard to ask myself some questions before spending, is it necessary?, will it only cause more stress in my life when it lies around cluttering up the house? can I use something I already have instead? ...to stop buying so many magazines. Which falls into the above category! I love to read magazines because they are quick to read. I love to look at tons of decorating and craft magazines! I always think, Oh that's a cool craft, or that's a great idea, I'll save that for later. But at Christmas time, when I pulled out a box full of just Christmas magazines I had a light bulb moment. The magazines must stop. I need to put all the creative idea's and energy to work. Besides, I can always find a new inspiration on the Internet! ...to sew and craft every week in order to have enough inventory to be a vendor at a craft show in the fall. ...to plant a flower garden with my mom. Something I will have to wait a few months to start, but I really want to do this. I know it will take time, maybe a few years to have a great garden but I know it will be worth the time spent. Just a few of my own personal resolutions for me, there are other things I want to work on as a mother and wife but those would probably be too long to list.